The Battle of the Guns

A bit of dodgy rhyme from Tom & Jim Purdey.

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People|April 2020

“There’s no occasion to be wordy.
My gun’s the gun”, Said Mr Purdey.

“No gun but mine is worth a toss”
Thus spoke the valiant Mr Boss.
“You may in your armchair loll and
shoot with mine” said Mr Holland.

“Find me a gun like mine - you can’t!”
Thus up and spoke bold Mr Grant.
“Just try my gun! Now thats your style eh?”
remarked irreverent Mr Reilly.

“My gun will make you play ‘Go-bang’
And give you game” punned Mr Lang.
“A good gun needs not note of bugle”
Observed sententious Mr Dougall.
“No gun could neater be, or cleaner
than mine is!”, pleaded Mr Greener.

“On my gun’s fame no rival can cast a slur!”
Quoth worthy Mr Lancaster.
“No gun can beat our gun, we say”,
Thus proudly Messers. Moore and Grey.
“Oh not for worlds would I speak coarsely
but some folks fib!” Said Mr Horsley.
“Prevent your shoulder getting kicks on, and use my gun”,
Cried Mr Dickson.

“All sportsman have for mine a good word”.
Rejoined discreetly Mr Woodward.
“On better barrels never sun shone
Than mine” quoth modest Mr Johnson.
“No other gun has got a leg
to stand on” boasted Mr Egg.

“The best of guns (to say it I glad am)’s mine”,
Said honest Mr Adams.
“My gun is the best gun, confess’dly!”
Adjudged great Mr Richards (Westley).
(To find a word on which to pitch hard’s
For a rhyme with Westley Richards).

Tom & Jim Purdey in the 1940s.


This was first published in 'The Shotgun' by T.D.S. and J.A. Purdey in 1936.

Published by Vintage Guns Ltd on

People|April 2020

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